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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

A Letter To You

Subject: One good lesson well-learned
To: Someone
Cc: People involved

Dear you:

I have been staring at the letter for quite a long time before my brain and hand were convinced to cooperate. Most of the time, you showed up in the head while the hand craved for your pictures. You're gone, I know, but my crazy head doesn't seem to know and digest the philosophy of letting go. The past has been walking in and I been tricked to watch the replay (and to rewind it), which is both smiles-making and saddening. I doubt how long more should I be watching this movie, the one I used to enjoy and want to keep enjoying; yet the movie is hurting me. The "Nothing is impossible" thing is a lie, at this content. The movie, I sense, will no longer be available. 

That day, that night and that moment, I felt train running in me, my heart roaring disobediently and eyes yielding out some tear. I doubted how cruel life was to me and there were many whies.....and whies.  The only friend at my nearest side then was a one who was spiritless and he appeared in water body. I did enjoy his companion even I knew he brought great destruction to me. He's too strong that he was still standing next to me in the morning when I woke up from a huge unconsciousness. My brain didn't seem to function in front of his appearance. But, we did have a nice conversation, a one that can be only understood by the hurtee like me. Back then, everything were painted black; I was wondering if the world was experiencing the eclipse throughout the year. The sunshine didn't seem so bright; my eyes saw darkness and I couldn't really see. The effects was huge and massive. My words grew tense and solitude was the first best friend I had. These two friends didn't talk much but they were with me and I enjoyed their company. Too, I fantasized that the world was in my ownership; there were  only me. The routines had just departed away. No coffee, no cuddlings, no hope, and only the solitude, the darkness, the "water" friend and I. A perfect world, that was! Thank for this very nice introduction indeed!

But, then, as times droned and the surroundings went worse, I felt the obligation to rescue the go-down and to activate the hopeless. That was because I found something, something that nightmares were afraid of. Remember the note you posed for me on the day? It read: Keep calm and live on, dear friend. The first feeling seeing the post was, obviously, a mixture of disappointment and pain. A good writer, you were! Expressively exact and straight to the point with just a few words! Now, I do wish you had taught me how to write. Days afterwards, I tried to fix in some consoling ideas ranging from one that you were just testing me to one that you did that based on the co-decision of you and your family, which you used to tell me. Nightmares were terrifyingly haunting me until something worse happened. That something worse choked me like a boss. Two bad realities at the same time, both are hurtful yet one, the latter, is worth being sad for. 

Let's go back to the time when the darkness was dominating. My people were all kind and brought good concerns, at which I was blind. The pain gave me the strength to connect with solitude. My old lady tried all the way but her soft understanding lectures didn't pass through me. Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.......100 until day 150, I was a soulless beings. Just there in the corners of the bed and only the inside-room hangout with those friends were my daily activities. My breath smelled like one of the friends and the hair on the face worked its way through. 

I remembered all the sublime and consciously gentle violence done to me and the drops of my blood for that so-called motivating "act of kindness". Not so illegal but so morally cruel. Thank for the lesson, yet again. To this day, at least, well, you shouldn't be knowing more. The bond was clear that day; cruelly and inhumanly and unsympathetically cut off. And, who did it? The world has the evidence. 

The point is I have no point now; this letter is to show how a good guy has been taught a lesson, a lesson of life. And, to who who taught it: good luck!

The man with more to live for


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