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Monday, July 28, 2014

A Love Letter From the 2060s

Not far into a quite arrive-soon future, 2050s or 2060s, life would be still going on, presumably more advancing with a more modernized and complicated technology. To an aspect, people who treasure reading, especially those whose passionate-ness about life are just to stubbornly strong to succumb away, will continue to enjoy reading and learning about life. Probably from those life and love novels that are intriguingly made interesting by people who are termed "best-selling authors" once until their manuscripts get approved and published and widely read afterwards and who, prior to that, are just a normal beings like us with a literary gene and vibe. 

One of those books you would enjoy reading and lose yourself into, in a probable weirder way of reading, is a not-so-best-but-best bestseller indie book called Those Then Decisions And Now, a prospective 2060 novel that would sparks the same viral effects as what John Green's TFIOS has done in this current time. 

The book would be a presumable hit. The following excerpt is a confession, heart-expressing, truthful and egoistic from its main protagonist, a young guy whom the author identifies as Sambath whose life stories is quite journey-y and full of doubts and unorthodoxies, a character who is anything yet, interestingly, so passionate about exploring the true meaning of life.  

[....] Little Darwin, 

Before the letter starts off, if anything happens to your mind while and upon reading this, let's make a deal of not punching blames onto others since this love is a you-and-I thing. We are held responsible for every effects colored out by this little complicated thing we once agreed and smiled upon. 

So, um, I've been thinking about us a lot lately. Things, many, just hit me, among which is the topic of the future of this love we have been trying to maintain after its creation. Although I seem to have suppressed the thoughts to fly out to reach you, I know, there will be a time when the explosion is exact and I guess this letter marks that exact moment. 

Let's, brace yourself properly, hear my thoughts, which perhaps are selfish, out. I'm just going to hit the points this time. 

If you do have a better choice, pick them. Not me, okay? I would be less of a meaningful future for you. I would be and I am now. As a human being and a man, I carry no, or very damn little, specialties. Besides being a prospective teacher who is to teach with unorthodox techniques and methodologies, which I hope though would still work, I'm just a type of guy who 1) would go to school with a flip-flop, shirt-T, and a short along with that old disheveled bag and would not give a damn single flying crap about those rich kids and their stuffs (except for you, of course), 2) would spend more bucks on books than on trying to impress girls, and more times browsing the library's or bookstore's shelves than socializing 3) would not have concrete life goals and would, thus, upsetting both from time to time myself and once a nice person like you, and 4) would, conclusively above all, not be really a brighter future for a thoughtful, decent, whatever-fine-meaning-adjectives lady like you. 

Well, not to mention my dull life choice of a tranquil countryside lifestyle over a modernized over-influenced urban ones.

This may now upset you, you see? The 3) point of the above-s is getting evident. 

They say, when you find someone whose weirdness is compatible with yours, you join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call it love, true love. They should've added: get rid of your ego along the way. When ego has a dominant place in your head, along that satisfying weirdness and true love, the aforementioned saying seems to be crystal, in another meaning, with this implication: I do love you but you have your place and I have mine. 

WE are just impossible and won't work. The compatibility we share is precise and authentic, of course, but they are just not adequate or to a bigger extent would, along time, come to term itself as a jerk-and-angel compatibility. Darw, we don't attract much compatibility, at least on financial status. Belief is important, I know, yet let me believe so for these ego-ic yet evidence-backed reasons. 

I don't know; I just have a big ego problem now though I know I should not. There are reasons too; obvious reasons. Turn to the above for those reasons. Your father is just right, you know, somehow: if I do love you, I should let you go and shine with a better future, a future I probably can't afford to offer. Don't be mad at your father for this. He sounds about right to this point. Upon the news your dad broke to me that you're about to leave for an abroad study somewhere in a more civilized country, I was appalled at first but internally glad later that a bright future is there for you. And, again, a brighter future, which if you choose to stay with me, will turn dark and absurd.  

So, what literally is the point I am making here? Darw, I am confessing, at this stage of our walk, that I will have to leave you so soon even though that is going to upset both of us. Prettily, that is a choice we both don't want but sadly have to make. At least for me. And, trust me, how much that might hurt you hurt me to the same level.

I once told you: we all make choices; the hard part is to live with them and there ain't nobody that can help you with that. I guess I will have to cope with that hard part soon too. 

Maybe in the next 30, 40 years or so, once, when I look back, I would regret I make this choice. But, what I'm supposed to do? Your family has a 40K, or even more, income and mine? The last time I check I was still running some freelance job for some small bucks which hardly could cover up for my mum's illness. My dad would work all day-long to just bring along some food home and some Riels for my younger siblings' fundamental education. You come to study on a drive-d 570 and I managed to hit class on time on a rusty from-90s white-turn-pale Honda Chaly that sometimes broke down along the way, a gift that charge my parents 90 dollars, from my paternal uncle who has fled to work in Thailand for a so-called better income. 

What seems more embarrassing is that your friends ridiculed me on the topic of that tiny bike. Saying of this companion of mine, I nostalgically am reminded of the times we had together with that motor. That one time was the exactest one in my head, one when we were stopped by the police who wouldn't let us go, after all their I-need-some-money-for-my-family-today blah-blahs, unless offered some money.  

Though maybe apart forever and no chance to meet anymore as I plan to disappear (well, besides necessary life necessity times), I sensationally know there will be always one place we can meet, relive and rejoice our then short-time, not-many, yet sweet, memories and that's in the dark sky, at late night, lightened by the shimmering light of the moon.

After all, I'm no longer that really fun; at least, my next whole life part. And, if you are in it, you will not be fun and happy either. Hope you understand, my lady I love. Your family and you will help find a more suitable guy, better in any areas than me, for you. 

Thanks for the love we have and a big sorry for this me-alone decision.​​ If anything could happen, I hope to either have courage back to love you and fight for this love and that you have and live a good life.

My love that I choose to abandon for a better YOU! You have a better life, okay?


[....] -20-year-old Sambath, Those Then Decisions and Now, an Indie 2060 Not-so-best-but-best bestseller novel. 

Hope to read the whole complete book during the 2060s.  

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