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Monday, September 14, 2015

Life: Hey, You Can Do Better!


Dear  people,

There is actually this pain-in-the-ego irony some, if not all, of you are facing and, thus, needs clarification. As a youngster, you see adults as fun, joyful, and full of awesomeness; or sort of such. Once, you solemnly thought it would just be cool for you too when you reach that stage of life, wishing time would elapse fast, at double triple speed, into the future. So that, you who were once young, free, cheer-spirited, non-egoistic, and un-judgmental could, as adults, have the same things, embrace the same awesomeness, and feel the same coolness. After some years, which is reflectively fast in just several blinks of eyes, you’ve turned adults. Yay! Fun times with those awesome things you once longed for! Having co-existed with you along these sadappy (sad +happy) years, as a sublime form of existence (and perhaps of great significance to all of you), I am happy for you. As I am about to congratulate you, you step in, rival, and thrust a long list of painful complaints―some dramatic―into my face, which hurts my mouth and makes me solidly conceptualize that you are just a pain, not in the a-s-s, but in the face.

As a tool for revenge, I should bombard you with this long list of questions, which I suspect would degrade your current state of happiness―which, for some, might be already low. I would ask questions like: how are things going on with you, being adult?  How have you, as a well-behaved and good-hearted (as I conceptualize) adult been enjoying all the awesomeness? Don’t you have good, memorable times, and will have a lot more, with your girl/boyfriend, just as your older brothers, sisters, or relative once had when you were not caring at all about the future? And, how’s the job going? Aren’t you learning and at the same time getting to travel as much, and earning good amount of money from the so-called perfect job you love—just as, again, one of your maternal uncle had at the time you were just small, playing happily under the sunlight? Do I, uh, too have to mention the precious Lexus your father’s elder brother had, and which he had driven your cousins and you to school during your primary school days? Do you happen to like your own Lexus?  Do you want me to go on? For the calmness of your emotionality, and mine, I’d rather not. One final, though (and I’m sorry if you feel bad for this): how’s your heart? Perfect in its starting condition? Keep that to yourself!


Well, as you would rebuff, while you might be just pain in the face to me, I―life, the most sublime, significant, and perhaps precious, form of existence, who have co-existed with you for these years―surely am the pain in the a-s-s. I’ve been cruel, you gossip? For all these years, I haven’t brought you all the awesomeness you once wished for? So, it’s all my mistakes, yeah?

Okay. My bad! I know you have been hurt, demolished, and well-broken. A moment of silence for and with you! Embrace and re-garner your puzzled pieces of your soul and mentality.

A few more minutes for me to have―further―my say! Let’s go through another series of questions. Brace thyself, dear!

Do you get stuck once adulthood come reign? (Course, you do! Apology for such dumb question) Aren’t you struggling emotionally with the little trap of comparison of your peers (and others) with you, which sparks the whole storm in your head? “My life sucks.” right? “Why can’t I just achieved awesome things like them?” And, one crucial amongst all, where are you heading? Why, it seems, are there lots of voices in your head, which you heard but not sure which to cling and listen to and work towards where its direction points? Why can’t you just act freely again at this so-called mature age? Why do you find it too dreadful to fall in love―which was once fun and exciting―again after several heartbreaks?  Why things just can’t go the ways you’ve expected? And, big, deep, and crucifying, why are there so many heartbreakers and blind crushes out there? Why society still judge you after it has told you to work hard to be yourself―your true, genuine self?

I know these lingering questions worsen your mentality, and they probably are getting you thinking now. Sad but true! I know, too, you might have also asked the following questions. 

So, why? Adulthood, why? Why, cheat? Why things at this phase of my life ain’t so awesome, cool, and wonderful, like what my elders used to have during my younger ages?  And is life―you―always this sucking? Or, is it just me you’re playing haunting with? Why disguise yourself? Why show me good, perfect things when I was kid and then paint me with sourness when I become adulthood? Am I doing it wrong? Or, is it just luck? Why can’t I be as lucky as them? Why’s working life so cruel? Why are people this cruel? Why can’t they lift one another up instead of drowning others so that they can reach the top?

Hugs, dear sweetie! Fact is I’m not that cruel. Let me explain myself.

Whoa! How and where shall I start? Phew! Well, firstly, even that I exist across the globe, be aware that, each is unique, and it shall be at your own benefits, should you remember that. Peace of mind is not about comparison but mainly about loving, appreciating yourself and what you have. Have you done that? Completely and genuinely? Have you? And, those people you see pampered with all the coolness you wish for, probably they have been working hard, through all their life, to have all those coolness. Have you worked all your best, giving all your all-in efforts? And, as sure as stupidity, they too, like you, have the problems. You just fail to notice them and focus on their coolness. Or, they’re better at hiding. And, what does complaining has really done to you, my friends? Does it make you feel good? Yeah? Be true to yourself about that. You’ll get over this trap too soon, though.

And, for the luxury you see flourishing around you? Is that what you really want too, my brothers and sisters? If you answer yes, well, again, I am unique across the world. How has trying to be alike to others working out for you? Deeper into that, you might be using wrong strategies in achieving that. Or, you might be focusing too much on those things that your eyes find charm over but, deep down, it’s not what your mind really want. Sometimes, it’s just peer-pressure. And, society-pressure. And, that, my friends, is a great lesson. No shame over that. Now that you know, I hope you do better. It’s up to you. 

And, when it comes to heartbreaks, there are two wise sentences of wise words I’d like to share with you.

“You will never forget your first love. That's what makes it so special. You love so hard, so deeply, and so intensely because you don't know any different. It's the best until it is over. Then you hurt like you've never been hurt before. Eventually you love again, but you love differently. You will love more carefully, more cautiously. Just know that there is so much more love waiting for you, but there will always only be one first.”

"Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love", which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident." 

And, save this one for the next person whose heart you might break, in the near future―unintentionally.

"And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about." 

Truth is you’ll learn to go on living without presence of certain people. Sometimes, your mind need answers which are already there the whole time. Love is a grand lesson and good part of life. Your life and others’ don’t stop at a heartbreak! I hope you tackle this issue well for your bright journey ahead. Remember someone’s words: Some people are meant to be in your heart but not in your life? Either you accept that or not, your life goes on―without their presence.

I should piece off to every single details of things you have bugged on. It’s not worth the time, though. Time is precious and you should spend it bettering yourself, in all the areas you see weak and not satisfied. Me is simple. At times, there will be hurdles. You have to put up with that, for a bright journey ahead.  You might just be starting, dear. The roads are bumpy and will be bumpier. Hold on tight. You’ll survive. Grand and great if you keep working harder.

Fact is, life (me) is full of problems and heartbreaks but you too are capable of making choices over these complications. Either seek to see them as opportunities to learn and grow or take time doing the complaints, which you’ve already been through and which you know―you help me end this sentence, please. My friends, as we both know, stupidity is doing things all over the same ways and expecting different result. Today, you have the chance to make things better. You can do it!

Plus, you’re not alone here, heh! This guy whom I finally decided to have real conversation with, for example, has been going through the same things here. Or, even worse. He’s probably the one who got me thinking about all of you too. And, write this to all of you. I tried to ignore him and, hopefully, let him learn by himself. He, like you, failed into the same traps. As he insisted and per the worse situations, I agreed to give him the real talk, for about 60 minutes. I listened to his confessions and took a look inside his head, and it’s not so beautiful. Too many things: messy and twisted. He doubted the same things. He’s kind but at times he would grew temptations. He’s been broken and rejected. A good number of times. He’s depressed then, I learnt. But, mildly. I saw thought of death in his head but it was not of solid domination. Yet he had this inside drive to seek to better himself (Hope he still does). He thought he was great; he was not. He thought he needed guides about living his life. He wanted perfect. Or, at least, great satisfactions. He failed. Times by times. He felt troubled by that. His moods ain’t stable. He befriended solitude and thought the world was wrong to judge him. They did, though. And, they will keep going so. Sometimes, he confessed, he cried a bit at night to serenade his soul to sleep. That’s pathetic, right? It’s real too! He’s, furthermore, directionless. He had overwhelming fears and was uncertain of the future, just like you. He finally learnt and decided to make rooms for improvement. I listened to him talking with hard feelings. He survived. And, he wept. The views went on. I might have told him the same things above. One sure thing I remember well telling him was: you want someone to guide you on living this life of yours? Go look yourself into the mirror and that’s the pure only one you’ll see. I’m not sure if he took it but I noticed him being free, mentally, after he cried. He didn’t promise me to do for perfect. He surely did said: I’d try my best, life. He’d turned thankful then and I could feel rays of gratitude splashing over his smiles. As he felt better, he let me pass and drag himself to sleep. Few days later, he wrote. He’s making progress. Failure, he learnt, is a solid bright stepping stones to move forward. His letters are cool to read, though they’re packed with weird things, which remind me of all the weird things―things differently thought of by most people―presiding inside his head. He no longer sees himself as weirdly weird. He’s specially weird, he implied, and I’m happy for him. He’s been making good, though slow, progress and it’s a good thing to him―and me too. The only sorry, on un-biased stance, I would have for him is the guilt in his head over some certain people whom he had to leave behind, guiltily,  in his efforts moving on with his life, trying to make it better. I, like him, feel sorry for those too. But, unlike him, it’s not the guilt I’d feel.

I wish you, like him, all the best in your journey to do better. Do remember, at times, you’ll see me as cruel, but that depends on you. The roads are rusty and bumpy and always will be and it’s a wise move to hold on tight. Again, it’s up to you. Might as well learn to see positive sides of things, brothers and sisters. Mistakes, heartbreaks, disappointments, rejections, and failure (and their relatives), are evil and dreadful at first sight yet they’re good companions for the long ride. And, your ride, beloved people, doesn’t stop here forever; yours will go on and you’ll reach a point where you’ll see me as bright and grand. Till then, have fun, learn and grow.

Sometimes, it’s not about them or me, it’s about you. Be grateful and grow, my friends. Do get hurt, which is normal, and move on. Still love courageously. Forget the awesomeness. It’s about you. You matter more than those scrumptious awesomeness.  It depends on you, again. You can do better.  You can do better, I repeat! I wish you lucks and all the best.

Lots of loves,
Your sublimest co-existence


PS. The guy who ran this blog, I don’t know who he is, but I like what he's put under his blog title, and I’d like to repeat his words, which too exists above, if you ever notice: When life sucks, do something...

And, my apology for the length of this writing and redundancies of thoughts, if any. 


Photo edited by Js Park



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